Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Edward Peehands & the Magic Coin Purse

I had my mock transfer yesterday which was QUITE the ordeal. The wife and I got off at 8 am and our appointment was at 0945. She had a regular gyn appointment and I was going to do labs and the mock. We ran home, showered and then drove to our appointment. The last time we went, we were the only ones in the waiting room. This time the parking lot was full and they were running behind. Oy...I had to drink lots of water to have a full bladder for the procedure. Any other time I have no problem not peeing. (I hold it for 12 hours at work all the time-usually I am so preoocupied I just forget) The waiting room was full of annoyed faces. 30 min go by...doing good...45 min...maybe I could pee now and drink some water while I wait? No! I can do this! Hold it! 1hr and I had to pee! I went pee a little and came back and chugged  more water. 30 more minutes...SHIT! WHAT ARE THEY DOING BACK THERE???? I go pee again...I am just about to sit down and they call my name. CRAP! I just peed! I get back there and they are clearly annoyed that I have peed and possbily delayed my procedure. They leave me alone for a few minutes and then 5 people come in-none of which were the doctor. I felt like I was on display with a giant spotlight on my "coin purse". (That's what one my patients called her lady parts ha!) yikes. The ultrasound lady scanned my bladder and said there was plenty. Let the festivities begin!!!
The procedure wasn't painful just uncomfortable with lots of poking and pressure. Then she said she couldn't advance the catheter past the os of the cervix. Now my friends that have been here before had warned me of this. If she can't get it in, she asks you to come back and do the procedure under anesthesia which costs way more. I was determined to not have to. The tech suggested I go pee 50cc's and try again.(thanks for helping a sista out!) So I jump off the table naked and go pee next door while 5 stangers wait. I would not wish this on anyone! I had a pep talk with my bladder and apologized profusely for all the confusion. Damn that stupid little cup! I seriously got pee everywhere except that cup. Just call me Edward peehands. After that, the catheter  *magically* went in just fine and she found the perfect spot for our little bean(s). The doc said everything looked good and they completed the anatomy ultrasound.
 I met up with the wifey, whose procedure was much shorter and smoother than mine. We met with the IVF nurse and she gave us our protocol! I am going to continue the estrogen patches and Friday I will start progesterone shots 100mg a day. I will continue until next week when I go in for my endometrium biospy and HSG test. Then BC pills and start protocol over for actual transfer in April. R will continue birth control until March and start stims on March 30. Egg retrieval will potentially be April 10 and transfer on April 13. The TWW would end on (drum roll please...) my 32nd birthday! It could be an awesome birthday gift or I could be drinking myself into oblivion. In the meantime, I have plenty of baby showers to keep my mind off of babies....

 Anyone done the endo biopsy or HSG? Tips? Pointers? Would love to hear how it went.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

You're gonna put that where??

AF finally came for R! We are up and running!!!! She had her baseline ultrasound today .They put me in the US room first while she got her blood drawn in the lab. (11 vials!) I sat there and stared at the ultrasound machine for a few minutes as the realization that this was all happening kicked in. ( I was a little loopy since I had worked the night shift and not slept yet,16 hours and counting...) And then I saw the vaginal transducer with the strategically placed blue glove and lost it. Literally giggling uncontrollably at the fake "hand" that was about to go where no man had gone before. For some reason, I thought she was getting a "jelly on the belly" US not the vaginal.  While I was carrying on like a 5 yr old, my wife had to pee in a cup and they sent her to the bathroom. She noticed a couch covered in chuck pads and some magazines laying around. Then she realized where she was: the masturbation room!!! AAAAGGGHHHHH! (if you knew R, you would know how mortifying this was for her lol)
 The sonographer was so nice to share the findings as she went. R knew what she was looking at and talking about but I had no clue! Anyways, she had some beautiful follies! 18 in total today. Now we wait for our report and I go in on Tuesday for my baseline and hopefully can stop the estrogen patches. I am up to four now and I hadn't noticed any difference until I started crying tonight in the middle of Grey's Anatomy. Not sure if it was the extra estrogen or my love of fake medical dramas with tug-at-your-heart-string story lines of loving lesbians & friends trying to survive in Seattle that got me....either way I was a mess.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

Saturday, January 19, 2013


We are almost one week into the estrogen patches for me. And R still hasn't started her period She is a week late. We can't do anything without her really. We are doing reciprocal IVF. She's putting all her eggs in my basket..literally! (sorry I am a pun queen!) So we are praying to AF daily that she pay her a visit so we can start her workup.
I feel like we are in friend limbo. Our single friends go out and party and leave us old married gals at home, and our friends with kids stay home and leave us out too. (I don't blame the married ones with kids because I just sit and drool on their babies...awkward) We just don't quite fit in either world right now and it feels a little lonely. I'm trying to work up the courage to let my workplace know my plans for the next year. So many people have or are having babies at work right now that I want so much to be apart of the conversation, but being a lesbian doing reciprocal IVF somehow doesn't quite seem to fit in with the rest. Don't get me wrong , my workplace is awesome. (they even threw us a bridal shower when we got married) I've told close friends and family and 3 coworkers, all of which asked why we are using R's eggs instead of mine and I feel like replying "Why did you use your husband's sperm?" I want her to be biologically connected too and it just feels right for us.  One co-worker is doing IVF later this year so I feel like I may have a live person to bond with.  But for now, I am left to STALK everyone else's blogs/lives. ( cue the song: why can't we be friends?) It's creepy I KNOW!  I really can't help myself and I am COMPLETELY obsessed. I keep telling myself it's for research and for inspiration but really, it's just making me more cray cray. So if you are one of the stalked I am sorry..but not really ;) Note my blog roll tripling by the minute...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Let's get ready to Rumble!!!!!!

Finally AF came!!! I started taking my estrogen patches in preparation for the mock transfer. Reality is kicking in. R took a pic of me putting on my patch (she's so sentimental).  I feel excited and scared at the same time. I don't even usually like taking something for a headache, so putting all these chemicals in my body  makes me on edge. I guess I should have reconciled with that before we started! I am pretty crazy without extra hormones sprinkled on top-I just don't like not having control over my body. 
 We have our first appointment and ultrasound on Jan 29th 10am! I can't wait. By that point, I should be a fertility goddess overflowing with estrogen. R just switched her insurance so she could get more coverage. After talking to some people about what they have paid, I am super grateful that we are even given the opportunity to use insurance for this purpose.

I'll leave you with some fun facts on fertility symbols:

Getting Lucky: Using Fertility Symbols for Conception

In ancient Ireland, the Celtics believed that the Hazel tree was a very fertile being. Hazelnuts were carried in pockets or strung together and hung in the home to symbolize fertility. Interestingly, studies have shown that the oils in hazelnuts help regulate blood sugar and insulin, which can improve fertility.
Mistletoe evolved the ability to grow on branches of trees, which allows it to spread quickly. Celtic Druids believed mistletoe had the power to bestow life and fertility. They also used mistletoe as an aphrodisiac (which is why we now kiss under mistletoe at Christmas).
In Feng Shui, the pomegranate is a symbol of fertility because of its many red seeds. Place a painting of a pomegranate with lots of seeds or an artificial pomegranate in your bedroom.
Lotus Flower
The lotus flower is the highest symbol of fertility in the Hindu culture. It represents purity because lotus flowers grow in muddy waters but remain untouched by the impurities.
Across South and Central America, depictions of squatting frogs are used to represent giving birth to new life. The Romans linked frogs to Aphrodite, the goddess of love and procreation. In ancient Egypt, large numbers of frogs appeared each year when the Nile flooded. Because Egyptian civilization was dependent on this flooding, frogs became a symbol of fertility.
Ancient Egyptians used cats as a fertility symbol because they are very fertile, usually have many kittens at once, and reproduce very frequently. Cats were often mummified and buried next to its master in hopes that they would both experience a renewed birth.
In India, elephants' long trunks are associated with rain, which brings fertility to the fields. Many wedding ceremonies utilize terra-cotta elephants as a symbol of fertility. In China, elephants are considered a symbol of pregnancy. A pair of elephants are often kept on each side of the bed facing the center of the room.
In China, fish are a fertility symbol because they produce so many eggs. Fish are often pictured floating through clouds or leaping. According to Feng Shui, a double fish statue made from glass or metal should be kept in the southwest corner of the bedroom.
The Celts used the moon as a fertility symbol because the moon's phases are much like a woman's menstrual cycle. They both repeat themselves in a cycle of constant rebirth. The moon represents the assurance that fertility is always around you. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Waiting Game

Well, I finished my round of BC. We were on vacation when  our clinic re-opened from the holidays. We called and our IVF nurse advised us to order meds now for the mock and transfer. I didn't realize that ALL the meds would be ordered at one time and shipped within 24 hours. We also didn't realize we would pay for everything right up front..gulp. Luckily, our insurance covered half so it took the sting out a little :) We made it home from vacay just in time for an anxious 24 hour wait. R just kept looking out the window like a crazy busy body neighbor. I told her to stop, but soon found myself  just looking over her shoulder.

And then, it came! And then, we freaked! Holy freakin meds batman! I feel like I have read and read about these meds but seeing them all in one box and knowing those are just mine and R will have her own box to deal with is just mind blowing. The needles...the patches...the pills... the vag inserts...oy.  The warning labels: DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL, DON'T DRINK MILK, DON'T PUT THIS IN YOUR GINA, DO PUT THIS IN YOUR GINA, DON'T DRINK MILK WHILE PUTTING THIS IN YOUR GINA. Was.definitely.not. prepared. We watched the IM injection video ( I'm an ICU  nurse but R is not) and then she relished in the thought of getting to stab me on purpose.

I love that the FDA assumes I am classy enough to drink martinis ;)

And now we wait some more. Waiting for AF to come to both of us so R can go for her workup and I can start patches for my mock transfer. R's period is willy nilly and comes whenever the hell it likes. Mine is like clockwork and of course now I am 3 days late and on edge because I just want to get this show on the road! The last time I wanted to get my period this bad was when I was in middle school and still had no boobs. In the last week, we have been invited to two weddings (as bridesmaids) later this year, attended one baby shower last night while receiving an invite to another next month.*Joy* I love baby showers, but  I just was not in the mood to be there since I was waiting for my own confirmation that I was not having a baby. (yet) It was also weird having to let the bride-to-be know that I would love to be a bridesmaid but I also am TTC and may be preggars during the wedding which could put a damper on that *awesome* coral tube top dress made for a size 2. "Sooooo, if you could hold off your wedding planning for my potential, hypothetical maybe gayby I would appreciate it k? thanx...."

That's it. We just sit and wait. It seems like we will be doing a lot of that this year. Just praying we don't go stir crazy in the mean time.