Chugging Along

So we haven't been on here in a while, but I've definitely been keeping up with everyone's updates and I am so happy to see all the wee lil' babes! Everything is moving along s.l.o.w.l.y. here. At our 32 week appointment everything seemed to be looking great, but it wasn't so good this time around. We are 34 weeks today and the babies are measuring very small (3rd and 9th percentile). They were 4 lbs 2 oz and 4 lbs 8 0z. I can't believe I have 8 lbs of baby in there! I have another appointment with a high risk OB on Wednesday. Baby A has only gained 3 oz in two weeks and baby B has gained 9 0z. I am a little nervous that I have IUGR. My belly still looks small even though I can hardly change positions without the help of my wife.

I am still working full time and almost done with school for this semester. I am hoping all goes well on Wednesday and they don't want to put me on bed rest. I just want to get them to 36 weeks! (plus I want to stuff my face on Turkey Day) So please cross your fingers for us that they grow like weeds in the next few days :) I am feeling so nervous as the braxton hicks come and go and can't believe that we will be a family of four by Christmas. It is truly surreal. Even as my belly rolls like waves in the ocean, it still hasn't sunk in. I just feel so lucky and can't believe we are going to be moms! I am so looking forward to cuddling these little boys and nuzzling their little necks-it just fills my heart thinking about it.

R is doing great with the induced lactation and is a milk making machine! We are so excited although she has to pump every 3 hours from here until the babies come. It has been relatively easy though. (easy for me to say!) I am so glad that it's working and she will get to feed them too, it's a bond for not only her and the babies but for me and her as well. I am really proud of her for sticking with it. Well that's all for now but I can't wait to hear about more positive pee sticks and birth stories!

Our Favorite Things

We had our birthing class today! I don't know that we learned anything new, but it was nice to do this class together.  It was at the hospital I work at and of course we were the only same sex couple. This wasn't a problem as no one including some of the other moms seemed interested in being there. (It's football season and we live in a college town.) Everyone had their phones out checking scores.  We watched some gory videos and took a tour of the OR and labor and delivery rooms. It was a good experience. I am getting really excited about these boys coming and can't believe this part of the journey is almost over!! We have our 30 week appointment on Wednesday and I am praying that they are still head down.

We have gotten so many awesome buys/gifts  over the last few weeks that I thought I'd share some of our faves so far.  Consider this my favorite thing episode! And if I had the moola I would buy all of you one of each....

I  bought this ring sling and we are  psyched about baby wearing!
http://www.sweetpearingsling.com/

R practicing with our fur baby :)

This line of toys is awesome! We got this globe that plays 37 songs from different countries. 

We got these rockers as a gift and we are going to put these in the bedroom with us in the beginning. 

And last but not least, I got these ADORABLE closet organizers from purple possom on Etsy! If you look closely, you can see the monacles and mustaches on the whales-so classy ;)

Well, that's all for now! Keep those birthing stories coming! And wishing lots of baby dust to those in the TWW right now :)

Spinning babies

OMG! Here we come third trimester! We had our appointment last week and all is well with the womb. The boys are measuring 2lbs. 7 oz and 2 lbs. 9 oz. I've got 5lbs worth of baby going on! I can't believe it. They are moving and kicking up a storm in there. The last appointment I went to they were   both breech and I was pretty nervous about the thought of having a scheduled c-section.  I really want to try and labor for a bit even if it does end in a c-section.   I googled everything possible to get these guys to turn around and found this website. It is pretty amazing. I've been standing on my head (literally) a few times a week for a minute and this appointment they were both head down :) I felt pretty silly at the time but it worked, now they just need to stay that way. We go every 2 weeks now so we shall see. Some other things I'm tempted to try if they don't stay head down: moxa sticks, accupuncture, more headstands, and a chiropractic visit.  I also had the ob measure my tummy and I am measuring 34 weeks which is right on track for twins at 28 weeks.
Well that's all for now...feeling much better since the last post about coming into my own as a mom. Thanks for all the encouragement! We are rounding the corner and I am started to freak out  get excited!  SO happy to see everyone's birth stories popping up and can't wait for more!

Head Scratcher

So if there is one thing I have learned over the past few weeks is that I may not be very maternal...yikes. I am having a hard time with this. I am super excited about these babies but I am not feeling very maternal yet. Is that weird? My wife is nesting like a mad woman while I just sit by and watch. I am not sure what is happening. Maybe I am tired? I've been working overtime trying to save up.  I still don't feel very prego. My wife keeps telling me that I look pregnant, but it wasn't until yesterday someone actually asked me if I was. I am 27 weeks and have gained 2 lbs.  I have to keep reminding myself there are two of them in there!  I was overweight to begin with and I know that has a lot to do with it, but it psychologically messes with me.  I don't have heartburn, or  any swelling or the usual complaints of a woman in her third trimester. It sounds strange but this makes me sad. I know that others would be grateful for this, but this is my one and only pregnancy and I just haven't felt very pregnant. I think I just had what my pregnancy would  be like idealized in my head and it is not.at.all. what I imagined.  It is unfathomable to me that we will go from just the two of us to a family of four in two months and I don't feel anything. What is wrong with me??? I can't figure out if I my pregnancy and parenting fears aren't allowing me to feel joy. I wanted this sooooo badly and I look around and see all this baby stuff and just cannot wrap my head around this. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, is this normal? Will it change? Is it hormones? We have a birthing class next week and maternity photos in November. I hope this will help jump start me. It just makes me sad that I even need to be revved up for such an awesome thing. I really hope I am just in a funk and this will pass. Trust me, I know I sound like big whining baby right now but I would love to hear your experiences or thoughts on this.

I'll leave you with some happy pics...

Pride 2013

Pride 2013

High/Low

Wow....we are 25 weeks and 4 days! I can't believe that we are this far along! Let's recap the last month high/ low style shall we?

High: Me and the wife celebrated our one year anniversary! We went back to where we got engaged and read our letters we wrote to each other the night before we got married. We locked them in a box and saved them for this day. Time flies and we are just amazed at how much our lives have changed and what is in store for us! I love her so much and know she's gonna be an amazeballs mamma.

Low: To make a very long story short, we have been fighting back and forth with R's family. There is no rationalizing with irrational people. We couldn't agree to disagree and unfortunately, they decided it would be best if we part ways. They have officially cut us off.  The only family member that came to our shower was her mom. R is having a very hard timewith this and I'm not sure how to help her. I just keep thinking that once the boys are here and she sees their little faces some of the pain will fade.

High: We made it to 24 weeks! Viability!  Measuring right on track. We are super excited that these little boys are getting bigger. 1 lb 5 oz each last week.


Low: I had been having the WORST pain on my right side and had to call out of work for the first time in 2 years. I was scared but as a nurse couldn't bring myself to go to the ER and wait. I had R do an ultrasound because I thought it was my gallbladder. Turns out it was my kidney. Baby B has been making himself comfortable on it and it was swollen and my ureter was backed up causing grade II hydronephrosis.  We showed the doc my ultrasound and she said there's not much else to do but lay on my left side and drink water to flush it out as much as possible. The treatment is worse than the problem: a kidney drain. It comes and goes but I am feeling better.

High: I passed my glucose test! 'Nuff said there

Low: A lot of people that we invited besides family did not come to our shower . I was a little disappointed that we've been really good friends and gone to great lengths to maintain these particular friendships and it doesn't feel reciprocated. Some are in the middle of their own TTC days and I think it stung the "lesbians did it before them". (One person expressed this already)  You make time for the things and people that are important. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and my loyalty for my friends runs deep, I guess to a fault sometimes.

High: We had an amazing shower today and the people that did come were awesome and super generous.

Low: School is kicking my a$$ ya'll. I was super stoked to start and now I am wondering what the hell I've done to myself because I forgot how much I despise writing papers. I have to stick with it though because I know how important it will be down the road.

High: R started her meds for induced lactation.  She should be able to breastfeed and pump by the time the boys are here.  We are pumped about this-pun intended. ;)

High: The nursery is almost done! We are doing a map/travel theme and everytime I walk into the room, I feel giddy. It is adorbs! I really wanted a hot air balloon mobile but they are so expensive.  R has been channeling her inner Martha Stewart and taught herself to sew. We made this amazing mobile together (well mostly her..I glued the ribbons on).

mobile sneek peak!

Lesbian carpentry at its finest! 

one of the maps going up with our favorite fisherman's lamp! 

Highest High: They are on the move! I was so worried that I would never feel them, let alone R.  I've been feeling them squirm a teensy bit but now it feels like my tummy is a cement mixer and they kick and punch so hard that R can feel them in her sleep.  Each time they move it's a reminder of this amazing role we have been chosen to fill as mommas. I cannot wait to meet them and be a complete family.

So that's it-you're officially caught up. I'm so excited to see everyone moving right along and seeing all these new stork landings! Congrats to all the new mommas and papas out there!

Bargains and Babes

Where should I begin? How about where we left off last time...The situation between R and her mom is psuedo resolved for now. I'm not completely satisfied with her "apology" but R is and I have to be content with that.  As of right now she is re-invited to the shower and  is still blocked from FB but is minding her p's and q's.  Even after showing R's mom the communication we had with R's aunt she was still confused as to why we weren't inviting her to the shower.  She said we should at least invite her and hope she doesn't come. ummm what??!! I give up. On to the good stuff...

I forgot to mention on the last post that our 16 week visit with the OB was awesome! She was actually the one person that responded to my email over a year ago in my secret lezzie group! At the time she was a 4th year resident. She had no idea who we were when we went to the appointment but we introduced ourselves quickly and she was more than happy to divulge she and her partner just had a baby last year! We also asked about induced lactation for R and she was super excited. She is the only doc in our practice that does it.  We will start R on meds around 30 weeks and will hopefully both be able to breastfeed. We felt super comfortable and best of all she invited us to a lesbian mom club. SCORE!!!

Speaking of clubs, we also joined a twins club in our city and it was a little overwhelming. Everyone was very accepting but we had a few awkward moments explaining who was pregnant and that R was not my "friend" or "support". We joined just in time to get into a HUGE consignment sale and got some serious finds! Also, a co worker of R's gave us a brand new car seat unused. We just need to get a match and find a double stoller which has been a little more difficult than we thought.  We registered today and I only had 2 meltdowns....that's progress friends. We started on the nursery painting and got an amazing rocker (craiglist find) from pottery barn! We are doing a map/travel theme in mint and orange. My mom came up for 2 days to help, but unfortunately I was sooo tired and feeling like poo, I was not much help. I'm hoping this second wind everyone keeps talking about comes soon.

Our 20 week appointment was yesterday and found out that we are for sure having 2 boys! I can't believe it and am way more excited than I could ever imagine. They were measuring right on track and looked beautiful. My belly is starting to get rounder and firmer and I feel more connected. I just assumed that since I was the pregnant one I would automatically feel bonded but it has taken me longer than I thought. I don't know if it was because of the IVF whirlwind or the family drama but all that aside now, I am feeling like a momma. Still no serious movement but lots of weird sensations, like my guts shifting or something.  R has been amazing and puts up with my crazy mood swings, although I think she is having more cravings than me!  Our 1 year anniversary is next week and I cannot believe how fast it went. I'm so excited to start this new chapter in our lives. I start school next week and am feeling pretty excited. I also decided to put my name on the day shift list and am looking forward to being on a normal schedule. It's gonna help in the long run with the daycare issue. I'm hoping R will come to days to so we aren't two ships passing in the night.  So that's it for now. Hope all is well in the blogosphere!

I'll leave you with some pics of our super bargains and babies!

2 Tears in a Bucket...

Soooo remember in a previous post me and the wife were denied our name change request? Well we went to court and guess what? We won! The previous judge just wrote on a sticky note (that's right-we here in SC spare no expense) "same sex marriage?".  The judge thought that by us having the same name we would try to dupe the system in some way and get benefits.  Our lawyer told us not to worry, R met all the statutory requirements  and if they didn't approve it this time they would have to provide a court order stating why and no judge in their right mind could use same sex marriage as their reason. We got a new judge and she took five minutes to ask R some questions and approved the name change. We were elated! Me, my wife, and our children will have the same last name and we couldn't be happier.

My wife posted on FB about how excited she was and thanked our supporters who had been rallying behind us over the past few weeks leading up to our court date. Well, her aunt decided to write a negative comment  and state that she was "disappointed " and one of our friends chimed in saying "don't let haters rain on your parade" to which R's mother chimed in and told our friends to "shut the hell up" and "the only reason people like this is because it's cool and trendy". Ummmmm WHAT????? I must have missed that edition of Cosmo highlighting cool and trendy lezzies struggling to make families with no rights and benefits. She also wrote a bunch of other shit that I can't even get into right now because even after a week I am still stewing. R just saw her family the week before and no one said a word to her about the name change and in fact said they were excited about the babies. When R tried to contact her aunt she refused to talk on the phone and instead texted her. She said that the babies are not mine and should have R's last name. We are not married in this state and she is still a Miss not a Mrs. We are trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and last but not least, that when you go against the wind you should expect some blowback and R was being prejudiced against heterosexual views.  I was devastated.....R was devastated. Her mom was not any better, she said she was just concerned about R and is so afraid of getting hurt but couldn't say who she thought was going to hurt her( although I still think she's implying me). She also said she's worried about the second parent adoption, umm like we aren't???  I have many problems with this mainly because  if I was a man, none of this would have even been an issue. R's mom has never publicly supported us and not until everyone changed their pics to equality signs on FB did she ever even mention her own daughter-when it was "cool and trendy" . She also has never gone to a rally or wrote her local congressman (to whom they are directly RELATED) expressing her concerns for her daughter's rights. She justified what her sister said to R and herein lies the biggest problem. R does not cry often, she doesn't get worked up but this pushed her over the edge. The babies aren't even here yet and if anyone were to try and hurt them I would claw their eyes out ya'll! For R's mother to hear and see how hurt her daughter was at the hands of her own family and not feel the least bit of sympathy is unfathomable to me. She couldn't even apologize and said she was just stressed out but when R said that was not a good enough excuse, she hung up on R not once, not twice but three times.

We have actually had a similar situation with her mom before. I actually blocked her from my FB but R made  me unblock her so she could see posts about the babies. I didn't want to because she writes inappropriate stuff on there all time (jerry springer style). She is embarrassing and R is constantly going behind her cleaning up her social messes. A little background: R's mom has had depression since she was a teenager and may have some mania sprinkled in there as well. She is heavily medicated and when she acts poorly, she blames it on not taking her meds or being depressed. Her family cottles her because they think she is so fragile and just let her run amuck. She is never held accountable and it's getting old. I don't understand why they felt the need to use our own personal post as their political platforms. They all hid behind their computer screens and refused to answer their phones and we have not spoken to them since. She also texted R the next day and said she wanted to come up and get a pedicure like nothing ever happened!!!  And then her aunt texted R a few days later saying she didn't want to talk her because it was "too emotional for her"  and that R needed to call her mother and "make her feel better"! SAY WHAT????? I cannot make this ish up. R has just chosen to ignore them right now.

I hurt for R. She is so sad. I thought these babies would bring our families together. I never in a million years thought it would go in this direction. We took my name and planned on using R's maiden name as one of the boy's first names as well as incorporating my own dad's name. (It was going to be a surprise) We gave a lot of thought to this with consideration for both of our families. They have sucked the joy out of it for me. After going through this with my own brother, it is easy for me to say cut them out. I was really sad but now I am thankful that my brother removed himself instead of subjecting me and my family to his hateful comments.  And I recently had a come-to Jesus meeting with my parents as well letting them know that being "tolerated" not accepted will not be good enough for our children and they have chosen to get on board. I realize this is R's mom but I just won't tolerate anyone treating our family less than and expecting us to just take it.   I am so tired of having to think of everyone else before we do anything-it's time to put our family first.  I don't know what we'll do about R's mom but as far her aunt goes, I am done. Ever hear the saying "two tears in bucket..." (I'll let you google the rest)

So what do you think? I realize there are always two sides but R is torn. I can't be around this stress and all I wanna do is enjoy this pregnancy without me and R being lashed out at. Would you cut your own mother out? I'm afraid that an apology this time might not be enough.