Monday, January 5, 2015

Bringing Sexy Back

 On New Year's Eve, we did our usual routine and put the boys to bed. We drank beers and channel surfed until the clock struck 12. That's right folks, girls gone wild over here! You have to sign a waiver to enter this house....

As the countdown started, we both jumped up and started dancing and counting backwards with the strangers on T.V. and our bff Taylor Swift. I felt a sudden burst of energy and was excited to ring in the new year. Why you ask??? Was it the fact that we have yet another chance to do things right? Nope.  Was it the beer? Nah.  Was it because TayTay is my new girl crush??? Maybe but probably not.  It was because I was about to have sex! That's right, me and my wife did the do!  I'm gonna be brutally honest (probably embarrassingly so for my DW). Sex has fallen to the wayside off a cliff this past year. While I was pregnant, my sex drive never went into "beast mode" like most women brag about. Our sex life slowly dwindled as I got bigger and the mechanics of it all became too much. Then came the 12 week postpartum period in which I felt like a goddess with an amazing bosom and slamming waistline. No kidding, I dropped all my pregnancy weight and then some. I was skinnier than I was in high school. I felt  looked like a million bucks.  Seeing my wife in a new light as a mom made her even sexier. Unfortunately, our inflated sex kitten egos were lost on us due to serious lack of sleep. When we tried, I was super self conscious about my breasts since I was breastfeeding. I didn't want anything weird to happen and the paranoia of my post baby body took over. Then we went on our first date sans boys. We shaved our legs, we wore each other's favorite perfume, put on secret lacy things and sadly fell victim to too much wine. I had a headache (really, I swear did!) and R was drunk. The next few dates went just the same with one or both of us passed out or puking. Hey! Don't judge, it's not our fault. We really rarely go out so when we do, we party like it's 1999 and Y2K is coming.


This time we didn't make plans, we didn't wear frilly things, and it was nice. Afterwards, we joked that we used to have sex more in one day than we did all last year. Yikes. We both laughed, but we both knew it was true. We have become that couple. The couple that gives sex for birthdays and anniversaries. We talked about it and both admitted that neither one of us feels sexy even though we still find each other attractive. It's hard for us to be intimate when we don't view ourselves as desirable anymore. Both of our libidos have taken a nose dive.  We both want more intimacy in our relationship but as crazy as it sounds have not been able to find time for it.  And this is where I think we have failed. We have failed to recognize that intimacy is a vital part of our relationship too.  When we have a moment to spare, we give it to the dirty dishes, laundry, or whatever endless task there is to do instead of to each other.

We haven't fallen out of love with each other, but we may have fallen out of lust. Don't get me wrong, spooning and holding hands is awesome but we cannot survive on bread alone folks. So my new year's resolution is to carve out time for my wife and I. We have also both resolved to join the gym. (uuuuugh!)  My wife is pretty athletic and is really happy when she's working out. ( I think she looks great already!) I think that when I become more confident in my body, I can truly appreciate and accept my wife's affection. Right now I am just not comfortable in my own skin so I don't want anyone else looking at it. I knew post baby body would be an issue, but I didn't think it would last this long.  It's time to engage each other and ourselves again.  I have decided that I need to let go of some things, if the dishes go one more day, or the bathroom is a mess then so.be.it.  Our time is limited and I want to make the most best of it with my wife.  I am glad we acknowledged it and we are working on it together. 

So let's hear it: Have you or a loved one fallen victim to sexual underdrive? What did you do? Thoughts or advice on how to bring the sexy back?

 
 
Happy New Years! I hope that you spent it doing something (or someone) you love! ;)
 
 
 
 
 
 


11 comments:

  1. Congrats on finally getting laid! Lol I can totally relate! I think it happens to the best of couples. We recently had a dryspell and the harder we tried the worse it got. Then we started "dating" each other again and we've had sex like 3x this year (haha hey it's a lot for us especially since were only 6 days into the year) I think our mistake was we knew the other person would always be there and we got comfortable. We lacked the emotional intimacy and when we got that back the sexual part just happened. My wife thinks is the lupron (lol) who knows. I know it's harder with kids but maybe having some "mommies" time will help, even if it's only once every 2-3 months. :) here's to a happy new year filled with love, happiness, luck, and lots of sex!

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    2. You're absolutely right! We have become too comfortable with each other and have taken our relationship for granted. And meds and hormones can def take the fun out of making a baby real quick! Lol thanks for letting me know we're not alone :)

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  2. Giiirrrllll!!! Let me tell you, since Callie has been pregnant, sex has been non-existant, and even before that during the whole TTC process (over a year and a half), if we had sex once a month, bring out the bells and whistles! But these past few weeks, in this last trimester, despite hardly being able to move, let me tell you! She has been all over me! And i find nothing sexier than my uber pregnant wife. I hope this keeps up after those babies come out. Here's to tons of sex in 2015 cuz lord knows we can use it!

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  3. I'm so jealous of your wife's pregnant six drive lol! Keep those flames burnin!!!!

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    1. * bahaha sex drive! Lord, I can't even spell it anymore....

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  4. This is so great! Yes, yes, and yes. We have so been there. I do think it happens to a lot of couples. I wrote a blog about the lack of sex life post kids...actually post marriage. I need to scrounge it up and post here maybe? I think you will relate, lol. We were advised to schedule sex nights and JUST DO IT, even if it feels weird to have it scheduled. Because it always feels great after, right?!?!?!

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  5. I need to read that post! I'm really glad to know that we're not alone in our drought! Scheduling actually makes sense because we really never do have time-carving out specific "us" time is what we need!

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  6. Found it!!!! Of course the title is, Let's Talk About Sex, Baby. Hahaha.

    http://littlemonsterandmommies.blogspot.com/2012/11/lets-talk-about-sex-baby.html

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    1. You hit the nail on the head!!! This post is so us right now it's scary! And yes college sex is the best! Maybe I should go get another futon to spice things up haha! Thanks for sharing!

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  7. Mmmmmmm, futon sex! YES!!!! Hahaha

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